You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
