Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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