I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
