Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
this is an emotional support booty call
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
