I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
