I'm gonna have a badass scar
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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