I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
