Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
