So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
