I'm really into asian looking animals
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
