she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
