I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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