who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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