he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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