...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
