as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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