We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
