she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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