just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
