also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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