I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
