I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
