i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
