I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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