i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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