i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
