On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
