Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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