last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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