they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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