oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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