Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
