Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
