Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
