So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
