Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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