I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
