And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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