It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
