I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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