In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
