There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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