You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
