omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
