Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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