If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
