I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
