I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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