bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
