we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
