3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
